Digging Deeper....

I'm just curious how many people besides myself do this. I'm ashamed to admit it but it's true that even after being a Christian for more than 20 years, I still take what people say about Gods word and let it go in one ear and out the other without really thinking it through. I often hear non-Christians and Christians alike quote scripture to someone who is struggling etc. Of course we all want to know the word and be ready and armed so that when not if God calls us to minister to someone we are ready. This  year I have made it my mission, my hearts desire to be in the word every single morning. To not get lazy or discouraged when things go south for us or someone close to us. But instead to train my heart to crave the word and run to it when chaos ensues. In that quest to go deeper with the Lord great things are taking place. He is making me sensitive to those around me. Quickening my heart to people who are hurting, struggling in their marriages or with just life in general. Restoring my soul to a place that is not about me but the BIGGER picture. My prayer life has changed. My attitude is changing. I wrote on the top of my journal GOD USE ME! I DESIRE TO BE A PEACEMAKER! TO LOVE OTHERS LIKE YOU! This brings me to my point about scripture. My entire life I have heard people say,"Don't worry God won't give you more than you can handle." Heck, there is even a Christian band on the radio who sings,"I won't give you more, more than you can stand." I have always just taken that for fact. OK. Great. Sounds good to me. But the other day someone said it in reference to someone being overwhelmed and busy with life. The Holy Spirit quickened my heart about it for some reason. I got to thinking about it, turning it over and over in my head and heart. God won't give me more than I can handle? I'm not sure what planet others live on but the one I'm spinning on IS daily more than I can handle. Isn't that the whole point? So I looked up the verse. It's 1 Corinthians 10:13-No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you be able to endure it. The things is if you back up a few verses this section is talking about sexual sin. Idolatry to be exact. I don't think my husband appreciated me waking him up early in the morning and exclaiming,"Honey, it's about sexual sin! Sexual sin!" Ya' he was mildly confused. Anyways, it just really brought the fact front and center to my heart that we need to be in the word daily. Checking things, looking back and investigating what our pastors say or people in passing. It's just good common sense as believers to be diligent and steadfast in the truth. Sometimes life does get away from us and we want the scripture to work a certain way to fit into our lives but God laid it all out there the way he did for a reason. Now I just get to spend my lifetime trying to get it all in. Be blessed!

UB4ME.....

Hello! Happy almost Friday! Whew-hoo!
Almost done with school for the week.

Stealing my husband away for a lunch date and massage.

Having dinner and game night with friends.

The kids will run around barefoot outside playing with squirt guns until well after 7pm because its warm and light outside and did I mention warm?

I was listening to a pastor on the radio in the car today and he said love could be defined like this;
Love: UB4ME
This is the kind of love we should have for our spouse if we want to see Christ there. This is the kind of love we should have for our kids, neighbors, friends, the homeless. UB4ME is how Jesus loved and loves today. I took a vote (well really it was just me) and decided to make this our new family moto.

The pastor also said,"Do something crazy and stay married. Be a trophy for God." I love that!
I'm prone to getting sad and overwhelmed when our friends marriages are struggling. When I hear friends have split up or are heading that direction my heart hurts and I feel panic set in. A lot of our friends for obvious reasons are firefighters so it hits close to home when their families fall apart. I cry out to God,"God, that's so close to home. We live that crazy life. What else can we do to be solid?"
I can easily let my eyes get downcast. Feel hopeless. But then I wake up in the morning, put my feet on the floor and sneak over to my quiet time chair in the corner by the window. I curl up with my devotional, my bible, pen and paper and allow Gods word to soak in. To prepare me for the day. To use me. To restore me. To encourage others. I love how when you are in the word daily God gives you scripture for people. You become sensitive to others needs and to people who are hurting. Sometimes those people respond to you reaching out and sometimes they don't. But when God places those people on your heart it's so good.

Obedience to Christ's commands always brings fulfillment.
                                                     Experiencing God Day By Day

This week I'm praying God would remove my doubt. Remind me that he is bigger than marriages in distress. His desire is to restore. His desire is for us to obey even when we don't feel like it. On the top of my journal I have written TO BE A PEACE MAKER. My hearts desire. To love UB4ME even when I don't feel like it, don't know how or don't get it in return. To not make it about me.
Pray for the marriages in your church.......be blessed.

What IS wrong with this picture?

What's wrong is that I have not blogged in the month of March yet! Man o' man where does the time go? Not to much exciting going on in our home. We had one of our computers crash (not good when you do on line home schooling) my car broke down ($800 later) and then our garage door broke (that one were gonna ignore for the moment ha!) I just kept gritting my teeth and whispering to myself,"It's just material stuff. God will provide. Find joy in ALL things." At the same time, sickness took over our house. Yup' it finally caught up to us. Ugh! But then the clouds parted, the sun came out (literally) and we got our taxes back......enough that it paid off our upcoming trip in full. Thank you Jesus! I love when God does things like that. Gifts we don't deserve or expect. 

Morgan is old enough now to serve in children's ministry at church. It has blessed me to watch her love on the 2 & 3 year olds and do it with such kindness and joy. She's growing up fast and doing a pretty good job of it. ;) 

Dan is reading a book called Surfing For God. We heard a guy on Air1 mention how good it was so we looked into it. We had no idea what it was about. Turns out its this amazing book about being addicted to pornography. Ya' I know, nobody wants to talk about the ugly stuff. But really, if you know anyone struggling with any kind of addiction, buy this book for them. It really gets to the heart of the issue. The thing is, we all sin. This is just another pitfall that satan uses to destroy families. We are all searching for something and some of us find the "right" answer. Gods saving grace. Look up e book, it's worth the time.

In the meantime we are enjoying the sunshine and playing outside as much as possible. All the while trying to cram in extra school work before our trip so I can lay by the pool guilt free. Ha! Just life stuff. Getting ready for Easter which is my very favorite holiday by the way. I had lots of pictures but my computers being dumb so I'm updating you on my iPad. 

If you think about it could you pray for me? Really struggling with something I did. The problem is, it was the right thing. It was done prayerfully, with love, kindness and with the other persons best intention at heart. I was honest. GASP! I reached out. NO! I shared my own story. But now this person is not responding to me. In any way. I have peace about being honest when I was talked too.....but loosing a friend or so it seems kinda sucks. Thanks for praying. Pray for their heart. Pray for peace for me. 

My quiet time has been so good lately. Just working through the word every morning and praying for needs around me. Just this morning I was being challenged to call out,"God use me." Now believe you me, you never say that unless you mean it. Because God is just waiting to pour into your life to bless and minister to others. I was reminded of Jeramiah 33:3 a verse that I have clung to for many years. Trusting, knowing that if I call on him he IS going to answer me. That freagin' blows my mind even after being a believer for almost 25 years. So that's where I am today. Asking God to use me in marriages that are hurting, in the lives of wives who feel distressed. And then the hard part; trusting God did NOT make a mistake when he brought them into my lives. Trusting that he wants me to speak truth and love into their hearts just like a sister in Christ did for me 7 years ago when I was hurting.

Be blessed today.

Secrets Out....

Anyone who knows me knows I am terrible with surprises. I have the hardest time not spilling the beans. Mostly if I am told to keep a secret I just don't talk to the person it involves which usually leads to them thinking I am mad at them which starts a whole other problem. Ha! Ha! So my brother told me he was gonna pop the question to his girlfriend Sarah and let's just say he knew to have her avoid me like the plague. ;) Buuuuuuttttt....secrets out and she said YES!

It's a good thing too other wise the surprise engagement party would have been just awkward. He went to lots of trouble to get all their friends and family there and I'm pretty sure she felt pretty loved.

Of course Ryanne made them a special picture.

If you didn't already know this, both our girls are adopted at birth. Having a woman hand you her baby and trust you with that life creates this bond only the two of you can understand. In that moment you want nothing more than to give her the world for giving you the world in the form of a little bundle of pink. Did I fail to mention that our girls were tiny, beautiful, perfect and did I say beautiful? Morgan's birth mom is a gem. Seriously, she has this love for our family that is unreal. The sweetest spirit too. In the last 12 years since Morgan was born she has since finished college, found her soul mate and had a little baby named Dylan.

We had the privilege of spending the day with them a couple of weeks ago. We have not spent time together since Morgan was 5 and Ryanne was 2. We keep in touch through email, phone calls and photos. I have to admit; when Kari sent me the birth announcement with Dylan's picture I crumbled into a ball of mess. Tears and sobbing and all. It wasn't that I was sad really.....I was happy for her. It just never occurred to me that I would see another baby picture that literally could have been our sweet Morgan. Even looking at the picture above gets me choked up because its all in the eyes and cheeks. It's those darn beautiful Japanese genes I tell ya'. Anyways, the girls fell in love as did Dylan. Morgan said he was a little monster at times and I just laughed. She was a little monster at that age too. It only seems fair. ;) Kari bought all us girls charm bracelets so we can build on them together. Thank you for spending the day with us Kari and Dylan, it is a day that is near and dear to my heart. I love you!

I got up the other morning to this note from Ryanne. I did what any mother who feels like she is less than an inspiration most days would do. I framed it and stuck it on my counter. Today as Ryanne was rolling around on the floor throwing a royal fit for over an hour this note saved her life. If you can't read it, it says;"You inspire me to do stuff mommy. You are great. You inspire me in school and circus and in every way in my life. God blesses you in all ways. I love you mommy. You have love in you mom." I'm pretty sure this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. *Sniff*

Second snow storm in 2 weeks in CA? Yup' oh joy more snow. Ha! I'm not a cold weather lover lets just say. My little one and my dog on the other hand ran out as the sun was coming up to play and run. You will be proud of me, I got dressed and still drove to ZUMBA in the snow. Ugh! It was angry ZUMBA. Oh and while I am whining let me just say February is a rough month for us every single year as far as everyone being sick. Yuck! But don't worry we share, spread it out through the entire family over the entire month. I was the last one who got it this past weekend and it was the first time in a year that something knocked me flat on my back in bed for the ENTIRE weekend. blahhh!!! Also, raise your hand if your a teacher and you have Spring fever!! I'm dying here. I just want to be done with school. I can see the end, I can taste summer, our cruise coming up, warm air, children outside running free. Sighhhh........3 more months. I can do this right?

This fella has been getting brave around our house. He has been hanging out in the tree by my bedroom and on our patio. Isn't he beautiful!

Happy Valentines Day!

If for no other reason; you have to have children for moments like these.....Ryanne made this vase for me.........

I woke up to this sweet card from Morgan......I heart my kids! I took them to have their nails painted earlier which was fun. And I am making their requested dinner; enchiladas and brownies! Works for me! ;) Even though we are all celebrating the "day of love" I wanted to make sure and point out that our hearts are genuinely heavy and hurting for the families who lost police officers in this past 8 days. One of the deputy's was from our small town. We are praying and lifting you all up as you go through this very difficult time. In the midst of the chaos and darkness know that God does have a plan and lots of people are lifting you up as you lay your husbands to rest. None of us know the number of days and though it may not feel like it today or even tomorrow; God IS in control and he DOES love you. Blessings

12.......

Well it happened yesterday.Our oldest turned 12. sigh..........She had a few friends sleep over the night before and then we all managed to get to church at 8am the next morning.

Poor baby had been sick off and on all week so she was not quite herself.....but she had fun none the less on Sunday when her friends and a few family came over.

Shes at a really fun age to sit back and observe. She is stuck somewhere between being a child and growing into a sweet teenager. She wanted Legos and dresses. She also got her first little pair of black low pumps to wear to a formal dinner we will be going to soon. Legos and pumps. My kind of girl.

It was a fun afternoon filled with cake, pizza, hugs and singing of course.

Happy Birthday To You!!!!

Happy Birthday Too You!!

Make a wish Morgan.....

I guess nobody got the "One, two, three funny face!" Memo. Heeelllooo!

I heart Morgan!

I think I am shrinking....... :(

12 year old people only want their picture taken if it is their idea....

She hearts her daddy though.....

See, her idea. Ha! Morgan, you are the best kid. So funny and animated. Sweet and smart. You have more talent in your little finger than most have in their entire body. God is just waiting for you to discover and open up all those gifts he has given you so you can use them for his glory. We loved you before we even met you. You love life and your family and friends. You have questions about God and bible that are to big for me. You desire obedience and yet you have just enough spunk in you to think for yourself and be your own girl. I pray for your heart, your health, your ministry and your future spouse daily in my quiet time. Be blessed my big kid. Happy Birthday!

16 Years and Counting......

In honor of our day. (Yes 16 years that man has survived being married to me. Ha!) I have compiled a list of 16 things I have learned about marriage. Happy anniversary honey!!!!! I know being married to me has been an adventure, thank you for your commitment!

1. Never go to bed angry. Ok the bible says dont let the sun set on your anger. Quick fix? Keep your spouse up all night talking about your feelings, they love that. Ha!

2. God IS GOOD ALL OF THE TIME! Us? Not so much.

3. Touch often. Like often, often. It drives Dan nuts that I sit right on top of him when he's watching TV or reading. But secretly I think he likes it. Wink. Wink.

4. Let the little stuff go. And I mean go. Don't say you let it go when in reality you are seething under your breath. LET IT GO.  In the big picture it's ridiculous.

5. DO NOT think your spouse can be your everything. No Jerry McGuire she doesn't complete you. Allow God to do that. Your spouse is flawed and WILL let you down. It's OK cause God is the one we should look too. I made Dans life miserable the first few years of our marriage by putting the expectation on him that he couldn't fail. Not a good idea.

6. Laugh. Laugh at everything. This might sound sick to you but we have even found a way to make fun of my RA. It's made me take it less to heart like a life sentence and it keeps it all in perspective.

7. Sex gets better the longer you are married. It's a fact. It's because as we get older we are less self conscious. Lets be real, by this point in our lives we all have a wrinkle or two, a few gray hairs, a love handle somewhere and dimples on our butts.....just sayin'.

8. Let peace reign in your home.

9. When you get married your spouse is part of your ministry. If you neglect it, it will fail just like any ministry.

10. Time away is essential to your sanity. Date nights are good but over nighters are important too. No kids, no distractions. Just investing in your spouse.

11. Build your husband up. They might act big and strong but they will crumble like nothing else if they don't feel valued, important. They need to know we need them and want them.

12. Be joyful in all things. The first 2 years of our marriage, I lost a dear girlfriend suddenly. We lost twins through adoption, handed back a daughter to her birth parents after they changed their minds and miscarried twice. Sometimes you have to dig really deep to find joy in a marriage, especially if your spouse has hurt you. But dig till you find it.

13. Be rebellious. That's right be rebellious against the world and have an on fire marriage. Most marriages are Luke warm at best. Be a warrior who fights to have an intact family. Go against the flow and STAY married. If you don't fight for your marriage nobody else will.

14. Be in the word daily and be prepared to be a help mate when your spouse struggles. Being able to say,"Oh, I have been praying about that for you!" Is priceless.

15. Kiss in front of your Kids. Dance in front of your kids. Cuddle on the couch watching football in front of your kids. Then when they grow up they will seek that kind of affectionate spouse.

16. Believe that God put the verse in 1Corinthians about not depriving your spouse for long because he knew and understood how important intimacy was for a marriage. Don't let time go by where you are not being intimate because of the ruts of life. It becomes a habit and then people hurt. Sex is important to marriage. It's a binding factor. If you are apart for great lengths "just because" then other sin will creep in.