Us

Us
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Psalm 127:1

Saturday, September 14, 2013

OK I could not resist posting this from over at www.homeschooldiaries.com I think she's hilarious but them I'm twisted so ya' know!

Please enjoy and if you have asked these questions before, rest assured we are not laughing at you but with you. ;) The added blue text would be my witty input to an already hilarious blog post. Thanks Susie for passing this on this morning.

 

 10 more annoying homeschool questions

#1 – How will they learn to stand in line?
Can you believe someone, who shall remain nameless and who will never read this blog, asked me how my child would learn to stand in line when she is homeschooled? Maybe I should listen to them. I don’t stand well in line. I fidget in the grocery store, I sigh loudly at the bank, and don’t even get me started on the DMV. A trip to Disneyworld should take care of this education gap. We paid thousands of dollars and sent our kids to a private school during their preschool year so we wouldn't have to teach them this. Check!
#2 – How will they learn to take orders?
Take orders? As in, “would you like fries with that?” Sorry, my aspirations for my children are a wee bit higher than taking orders. Will they learn to respect authority? Certainly. If respect is earned. Manners and etiquette? Definitely. Something I’m a stickler on. They’ll be mindful of their manners and giving of their heart, but they won’t be mindless drones willing to accept anything and everything thrown their way. Trust me when I say they DO NOT learn manners and respect from their peers. Sorry, but if they suck at that it's on us parents.
#3 – How do they not cheat?
This one made me laugh. To me, cheating is a moral issue. It has nothing to do with homeschool or public school. I’ll go out on a limb here. There may be – I mean there could be…a slight chance…that cheating is going on in public school. There, I said it. So…if cheating goes on in public school, wouldn’t my child be better off at home – where there’s no one to cheat off of? Now if you’re insinuating that I’m the one cheating, that’s a different story. {rolling up sleeves, taking earrings off, clenching fists – kids screaming CAT FIGHT} As a matter of fact cheating does happen in home schooling. Just the other day I caught my 9 year old trying to sneak a peek at the multiplication chart on the wall during a test. Soooooooo????? We talked about integrity and where Gods heart is in the things unseen by others. Just another teachable moment as a parent that I didn't miss.
#4 – What makes you qualified?
Usually this question comes from some unsuspecting stranger that hasn’t a clue what’s about to hit the fan. Personally, I have more education than most certified teachers, but that’s irrelevant. Parents are qualified to teach their children and have been doing so since birth. Some may not believe they are qualified, and that’s fine. Their children are not being homeschooled. Unless you’re my mother or father, what makes you qualified to ask me if I’m qualified to teach MY kids? I get this question on a weekly basis. My answer? Trust me when I tell you that all of your kids teachers are not qualified to deal with 30 wild 7 year old kids crammed into one class for 7 hours a day. Period.
#5 – How will they learn to tie their shoes?
Yes folks, this is an actual question asked by some idiot inquisitive cashier at Blockbuster. No offense to anyone working at a movie rental store. That’s not the point here. Shoe tying apparently can only be taught by someone other than a parent, and can never be demonstrated at home. Why else do you think I continue to buy Velcro shoes for my 10 year old? Were good cause my kids hate shoes. No worries Mon'.
#6 – How are you supposed to have a life?
I’m a parent – duh. I have no life – of my own that is. Homeschooling doesn’t have anything to do with it. My life ended when the doctor handed me that 8 lb. ball of flesh that looked like a well-done Thanksgiving turkey with the face of a 90 year old man. Yep, that’s my little girl. My heart grew three sizes that day – life over, game on. Ya' life doesn't stop because I have kids whether they are at school or learning at home. It only stops when I go to my happy place and sometimes that just means taking 10 minutes to get my eyebrows waxed. You get it where you can.
#7 – Who will help them with their homework?
Apparently because I’m the teacher, I can’t help with homework – that would be cheating, right? Didn’t we just cover that one above? First of all, I don’t believe in homework and will never assign it. Heck, if we’re going to be literal here, isn’t it all HOMEwork? You don’t make sense Mister; now go away. {Yes, I’m reliving each question} What homework?
#8 – How will they learn to deal with bullies?
Did you really just ask me this question? Bullies? Well, let me paint a picture for you. My child was in first grade at public school, when a little man, I’ll call him jerk-boy, also in the first grade, began poking my daughter with sharp pencils on a daily basis. When brought to my attention one evening at dinner, I calmly discussed the hit plan with my husband. I told him I would meet with the teacher in the morning and make it all better. So of course the first thing I did was wait until the teacher had escorted most of the children inside before I ran to the boy like a rabid squirrel, squatted down at his level (because that’s how Super Nanny says one should discipline) and told him if he ever poked my child again…. Let’s just say, I left the playground in a hurry, and told my husband it would be great if he could take our daughter to school for the next couple of weeks – mommy needed to remain in hiding a break. Ya' I might of had to stay in the car at dance practice a couple weeks last year; but hey those girls are sweet as syrup to my kid this year......strange really.
#9 – Does your husband know?
Know what? How much I spent on shoes curricula? I don’t think it’s fair for me to answer questions about my spouse when he is not present to answer for himself. Does he know I homeschool? What kind of marriage do you think this is? We may not have had a date-night in three weeks, but he does know there is a woman living in his house who educates his children. {Gasp}
#10 – How will they learn what’s in style? No he didn't know at first but he figured it out when we were cruising to the Caribbean in the middle of the school week in April with our kids....duh!! If your husband doesn't know you have bigger problems than raising jacked up home schooled kids.

At the end of her post she said we got to add our own question that we get asked the most that annoys us; Oh I don't even know if I can pick just one but I will sure try. 
WHAT ABOUT PROM? 
Weelllllll.....introduce me to someone who's life was changed by prom for the very best and I will send them to our local prom when they are of age. It's prom people! Prom! Do I even need to comment on the shallowness of it all? I think I've offended enough here today. :)

OK since there are just to many good ones to choose from here's my favorite;

HOW WILL THEY LEARN TO DEAL WITH BOYS?
I could give you my long drawn out spiritual answer on how we are raising our girls to only date with the purpose to marry, or how when they turn 13 we are working through the Passport to Purity series to remind them they are children of the Lord who wants the very best for them and that includes not giving away pieces of their hearts AND bodies their entire adolescent years like most of their peers. But instead teaching them self control and waiting on the Lord for a spouse. But alas I will just give you my husbands answer; Dan: "What boys?" 

1 comment:

BC said...

These are great - can't believe you actually receive slack about homeschooling - it is an amazing feat!!