We lost my 20 year old cousin this past week. It wasn't something our family saw coming. There were no long drawn out good-byes in the hospital. No final opportunities to have that one last conversation that needed to take place. 

 Just sitting in my aunts living room with family and my cousins friends waiting and watching the clock; waiting for the sheriff to come and confirm what we already knew in our heads to be true. There was no pause button to allow the news to travel from our heads to our hearts. 

As the minutes turned into hours and Thursday night turned into early Friday morning it felt like everything was in slow motion. No parent under any circumstance should outlive their child. It's not the right order of things.

 Death always has me thinking. Thinking about making disciples of Christ. That no one person would get left behind. That no one person would ever not feel the body of believers love. That no one person would not experience Gods peace and comfort. It puts my heart into sheer desperation mode. Desperate to show Gods love to people around me in wherever I can meet their needs. To be the hands and feet of Christ. I cry out,"God make me uncomfortable where I am so I will share who you are with others!"

 I know we can't save people. Gods in the business of saving lives and drawing people to himself. But I desire to not be lazy in the job He has assigned me, and that is to go and make disciples of all nations. (Matt. 28) To never grow weary doing good. (Gal. 6:9) And to realize we are supposed to be pointing people in one direction and that is to spend eternity with Jesus. (Rom. 10:13) 

Praying that God would use my cousins death that many might come to know Him. 

 I read this in my devotional yesterday:

Every trial we face, no matter how difficult; is an occasion to point people to God-given satisfaction that supersedes suffering in this life. 

-David Platt-