Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Psalm 127:1

Friday, February 8, 2013

16 Years and Counting......

In honor of our day. (Yes 16 years that man has survived being married to me. Ha!) I have compiled a list of 16 things I have learned about marriage. Happy anniversary honey!!!!! I know being married to me has been an adventure, thank you for your commitment!

1. Never go to bed angry. Ok the bible says dont let the sun set on your anger. Quick fix? Keep your spouse up all night talking about your feelings, they love that. Ha!

2. God IS GOOD ALL OF THE TIME! Us? Not so much.

3. Touch often. Like often, often. It drives Dan nuts that I sit right on top of him when he's watching TV or reading. But secretly I think he likes it. Wink. Wink.

4. Let the little stuff go. And I mean go. Don't say you let it go when in reality you are seething under your breath. LET IT GO.  In the big picture it's ridiculous.

5. DO NOT think your spouse can be your everything. No Jerry McGuire she doesn't complete you. Allow God to do that. Your spouse is flawed and WILL let you down. It's OK cause God is the one we should look too. I made Dans life miserable the first few years of our marriage by putting the expectation on him that he couldn't fail. Not a good idea.

6. Laugh. Laugh at everything. This might sound sick to you but we have even found a way to make fun of my RA. It's made me take it less to heart like a life sentence and it keeps it all in perspective.

7. Sex gets better the longer you are married. It's a fact. It's because as we get older we are less self conscious. Lets be real, by this point in our lives we all have a wrinkle or two, a few gray hairs, a love handle somewhere and dimples on our butts.....just sayin'.

8. Let peace reign in your home.

9. When you get married your spouse is part of your ministry. If you neglect it, it will fail just like any ministry.

10. Time away is essential to your sanity. Date nights are good but over nighters are important too. No kids, no distractions. Just investing in your spouse.

11. Build your husband up. They might act big and strong but they will crumble like nothing else if they don't feel valued, important. They need to know we need them and want them.

12. Be joyful in all things. The first 2 years of our marriage, I lost a dear girlfriend suddenly. We lost twins through adoption, handed back a daughter to her birth parents after they changed their minds and miscarried twice. Sometimes you have to dig really deep to find joy in a marriage, especially if your spouse has hurt you. But dig till you find it.

13. Be rebellious. That's right be rebellious against the world and have an on fire marriage. Most marriages are Luke warm at best. Be a warrior who fights to have an intact family. Go against the flow and STAY married. If you don't fight for your marriage nobody else will.

14. Be in the word daily and be prepared to be a help mate when your spouse struggles. Being able to say,"Oh, I have been praying about that for you!" Is priceless.

15. Kiss in front of your Kids. Dance in front of your kids. Cuddle on the couch watching football in front of your kids. Then when they grow up they will seek that kind of affectionate spouse.

16. Believe that God put the verse in 1Corinthians about not depriving your spouse for long because he knew and understood how important intimacy was for a marriage. Don't let time go by where you are not being intimate because of the ruts of life. It becomes a habit and then people hurt. Sex is important to marriage. It's a binding factor. If you are apart for great lengths "just because" then other sin will creep in.


krista said...

Happy Happy Anniversary!!! Hope that you guys have an awesome celebration. Thank you for your words of wisdom <3

Jessica said...

This is such a great post. Matt read it first and told me it was really good :-) Thanks for sharing... It's all so true.

And happy anniversary to one of my favorite couples :-) May God continue to bless your marriage :-)

BC said...

YeAh! Happy 16th!! Or is it sweet sixteen oh that makes it way more fun and festive!! Enjoy.

Erica Young said...

Happy anniversary! wishing you many, many more!