So with all that being laid out here is the funny part; I was in the shower Sunday morning moving slowly and trying to convince myself to skip church. I prayed,"God I don't want to go today. Dan is gone, I am tired physically and emotionally and now on top of that I have to get three people ready and out the door. Two of whom seem to undo everything I am trying to get done. Please God reveal yourself to me this morning through Pastor Chris. I ask that I would be still in the service, focused and attentive to what YOU need me to hear. Amen."
(fast forward an hour or so)
I am sitting in church still kinda wishing I was home in my robe and slippers when Pastor Chris started talking about Peter and how often he just got "side tracked" if you will. In Matt. 16 Jesus even rebukes him and says,"DUDE! You are not setting you mind on the things of God!!" OK minus the dude part but he calls him out on the fact that he is not focusing on eternal things. Pastor Chris wanted us to think of how much we have invested in things that have no real value. It could be anything. Conversations, how we spend our time and money. Relationships etc. The funny thing is God used Peter for greatness but man was Peter ever slow to learn. I swear to you a light bulb went on. I AM PETER! I am slow to hear, quick to speak. Slow to learn. I do the same stupid things over and over. I let the same things tear me down over and over. I spend endless amounts of time that is lost forever on worrying instead of praying. Oh the list goes on.
I am Peter.
I love when you sit in church and you are CERTAIN the pastor wrote the sermon just for you. LOVE IT! I decided to keep my eyes focused the rest of the day and start today in the word. Oddly enough I am studying Esther with our home school moms and it was all about the King and the party he threw and all the riches and fancy-smanchy stuff that went into throwing the party. The author asked us what we were setting our focus on. hhmmmm.....see a pattern here? No worries though you wont come to my house and find lavish furniture or gold goblets instead more like trying to keep the furniture together till' the kids leave and cups that the kids have destroyed. Instead it's where my heart is that I struggle. Allowing my thoughts that don't honor the Lord to creep in. Allowing other people's often stupid choices to dictate how I feel, as though I can control other people duh.........................so from now on you can just refer to me as Peter.
Then to top it off I get home and decide to read a few blogs. I am reading Erica's blog who I have been encouraging to go to church alone even though her husband wouldn't go with her. I told her God had a purpose for her there with or without her husband. I told her I go alone all the time and just cheered her on to take the first step. Well, she did and she was so excited and her husband was going too! All this from the girl, I mean "Peter" who didn't feel like going alone yesterday. Isn't God good! Thank you Erica for encouraging me back with my own words. :)
"The world is empty, pale and poor compared to knowing you my Lord, lead me on and I will run after you, lead me on and I will run after you."