Today I was at Trader Joes picking up a couple things I needed and I was in a huge hurry because I wanted to get home before it got to hot (ya' right) get my laundry done, get Ryanne down for a nap etc. As I was loading my car a middle aged women appraoched me carrying a basket full of suckers wrapped with ribbons and little decorations. She said she was selling the candy to help support her family and would take any help she could get. My first response was,"I'm sorry I cant today." I'll be honest with you here when I tell you that first and formost I get freaked about being approached when I am alone with my girls. I am usually a very trusting person (to a fault) but when it comes to my girls I am always on guard.
I finished loading my car which took all of another 10 seconds and all the while the things that ran through my head (and yours when you are approached for money if you are honest) were;
What is she really gonna do with the money?
Does she really have a family at home?
Does she really think I am going to take that candy and give it to my kids?
Then as I looked into my rear view mirror I noticed people on their cell phones wakling by her as she tried to approach them and they ignored her as if she was invisible. Didn't exist. Walked right through her. I saw her face and the hurt and the defeat and I heard God give me the answers to my questions above.
It's none of your business.
It's not your concern.
It's not the real reason you didn't talk to her.
So I dug into my purse and went to find her. I gave her the money but told her she could keep her candy. Of course we can't give to everyone and I understand that. I don't know what determines if you give to people or not but for me there was just this tugging in my heart. It broke my heart to see people act like someone else did not exist or that they weren't even worth an acknowledgement of some kind. When I got back in the car Morgan said,"that was nice of you mommy." I am reminded through that women who was trying to help her family in the most honest way that she knew how just how blessed I am. I have a safe comfortable place to call home, a husband who has a stable job that not only provides for us but allows me to stay home and raise up our girls. I have a reliable car, health insurance, food on the shelves and clothes to wear. All of these things are present in my life and in the amount that is way above what I actually need.
I know I can't save the world or fix every one's money problems but I love that the Holy Spirit tugs at my heart and allows me to hear in the midst of all the chaos that is going on in our world. Are you listening?